When growing up, I had lots of cousins. There were about fifty of us on my father’s side of the family. Jimmy was five or six years older than me; I was close with his sister, Jeanne, who was more my age. He had three older brothers and, like them, was well rounded, handsome, and good at sports. They made him tough; his sisters made him more thoughtful and respectful; his dad made him interested in cars and to be a gentleman; and his mom made him an entertainer and one who used his gifts to encourage others and to glorify God; his entire family unit made him sentimental. I admired him.
He was the age of my older brother, who periodically hosted Jimmy and his friends at our family farm to ride horses and shoot guns. I remember watching him and wanting to be like him: gregarious, funny, adventurous, talented, daring. He saw the good in others, even the dorks, and was always the life of the party. He had common sense, a good work ethic, and was the type of guy who went the extra mile or took additional time to help another, whether friend or stranger. He also had his faults. He was loud and sometimes obnoxious; he struggled through a failed marriage and failed business. But he always landed on his feet and was surrounded by a great group of friends that he collected from every stage of his life.
He had a good singing voice and obeyed his mother when she told him that it wouldn’t hurt him one bit to sing in the church choir. The Saint Elizabeth Noon Choir of the 1970s was very cool. Those were experimental years after the Second Vatican Council and his young group harmoniously rocked through concerts, albums, and terrific tunes that touched the soul. It made me become interested in church and helped me realize that Catholicism can be enlivening and inspirational, even for young or unconventional people.
Though cousins tend to see a lot of each other as kids, we have our own lives as grown-ups that take us in varied directions. I was very happy to be assigned to his parish, Saint Thomas More, decades later, and discovered that he and his buddies were still connected to the church via music. They liked to sing and that, in unpredictable and unforeseen ways, kept them close to God. It gave me the opportunity and good fortune to spend time with him as an adult. What a blessing! Same ole Jimmy. Same life of the party. We’ve remained friends for the past twenty years, seeing each other regularly for a drink, a conversation, a meal, and a monthly book club we were in. Like when I was younger, I was happy in his presence.
Earlier this year, Jimmy was diagnosed with cancer. He and his wife, Carol, fought it, every hour, every way, taking on each new obstacle that surfaced, spending long, lonely days at KU Med. Friends gathered regularly to pray. He was embarrassed by the attention but grateful for the compassionate, loving support. Earlier this week, the disease spread throughout his body. It all happened way too fast. He died this afternoon, encircled by Carol, all those siblings, and his son surrounded by scores of cousins as we once were.
We each get to live. We all have to die. It’s what we do while we’re here that matters. Saint Irenaeus once said that the greatest glory we can ever give to God is, while we’re alive, that we be fully alive. Through my eyes, Jimmy lived life to the fullest—not perfectly but all in, all the time. In that, he honored Our Lord. I am grateful for his example, his companionship, and the gift that he was and will continue to be.
UPON THIS ROCK 
I’m so sorry for your loss. Cousins are the best! I loved the 70’s vibrant mass services! That guitar got everyone singing and the singing got everyone feeling connected
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Fr. Don, I just heard that about Jimmy after 4:00 mass today and am so very sad. I am so sorry for your loss, and for everyone lucky enough to have known Jimmy. Cousins are the best!…and you Farnan and Harris cousins had some great fun!
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Amen. Thank you.
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what a beautiful tribute to your cousin
you have my deepest sympathy
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Dear Fr DonI
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Fr Don..I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying that God comforts you during this difficult time.
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Thank you for this wonderful tribute, Fr. Farnan. All of those first-person recollections of Jimmy helped to bring a smile to my face this morning. Having Jimmy sing “Danny Boy” at the funeral for my Dad many years ago was such a touching moment and I’m reminded of Jimmy every time I hear that. I appreciate you sharing your personal thoughts. Regards, John Ritz
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What a wonderful rememerance of Jimmy. Thank you for sharing. His qualities are an inspiration to us all.
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Thank you Donald, uplifting words this morning.
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Father Don, I’m very sorry for your loss. Jimmy sounds a lot like my brother who we lost last year. A big void. Melanienolker@gmail.comMelanienolkerart.com913-449-3991
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Thank you , Don, for sharing the story of Jimmy’s life and death so sorry! I wonder if I ever met him! What is the last name? peace Jerry
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So sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace
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What a lovely tribute. Jimmy was always fun to and a good man.
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I’m so sorry for all of you. It’s so difficult and at such a young age.
Your reflection was beautifully written and perfect for this time of patience and waiting for Christ’s presence in the world. How blessed to have so many loved ones surrounding him.
Sending many prayers to all of you.
Sincerely,
Julie McCann 816-305-2908 J.Hilburn Stylist julie.mccann@jhilburnpartner.com
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Jim had a beautiful voice that my family was lucky to witness in our early years at St. Elizabeth. what a joy it always was to hear him. He comes from a wonderful family that will surround his loved ones as they navigate this sad time. We will keep all of the Harris’ in our prayers.
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Thank you.
Sent from the all new AOL app for iOS
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A beautiful tribute to a very kind man- Jim sang at both my parent’s funerals and I was lucky enough to have him in my parish choir at both St. Elizabeth’s and then St. Thomas More. “How Great Thou Art”, performed by him is a cherished memory. ❤️
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Father we are so sorry for your loss. You will always carry good memories of him and your entire blessed family. We are blessed to have you in our lives.
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JImmy was a very decent person & I was saddened to learn of his passing. Your tribute about him is so beautiful.
He will be missed by so many as will his singing.
RIP JIMMY!💝
Love to the family…Carol Meunier
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I am so very sorry for your loss. He sounds like an amazing person. I will keep you and his family in my prayers. May God help you all through this difficult time.
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Jimmy was a good man with a phenomenal voice that was appreciated by so many in the church. We share our condolences and prayers with you and all of his family.
Dan and Kathleen Kellerman
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Thank you for the very thoughtful story of a good person.
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Father Don,
I had a cousin George, my idol, 5 years older and the best person I have ever known. I also lost him to cancer. He is well remembered and sorely missed. Hope you are recovering well.
Marty McCormack
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Love this. Honest with loyalty and honor
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